The sound it makes? Nope

It is midnight here in my hometown and it's raining quite heavily,..

The thing with rain is that, well, I don't hate it but the sound that it make makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm fine when there's people all around, but if i am alone, I would feel kind of uncomfortable. More over if there's thunders and lightnings too.

The sound of the raindrops hitting the roofs, the road and all are so loud with the lightning so bright, and a sudden "JDEEERRR" sound, urgh. But the rain itself, honestly, I don't hate it, It's kind of windy when it rains, it's cold, it's feels nice.

So if you asked me,

"Do you like the rain?"

"The rain? Yes. The sound it makes? Nope"

#justarandompost

That Feels I used to Feel...

It's been long since i last update,.
Not like I don't wanna update or anything,...

ever since I study in Beijing it's been kinda hard for me to connect to blogger as blogger is blocked there.

It used to be so fun to update blog, I always spent hours to update my blog, color the writings, finding the right anime pict for me to put them into the blog. I wonder where did all those passion went...

I don't have much to talk either. I used to talk about the person I hate here, also about the person I love. Currently, though, I don't have any feelings for anyone...

I did have feelings for this best friend of mine, but i've been rejected twice by him. As you guys would expect from a best friend, I am Friend-zoned.

I am now having a Winter holiday and haven't met him for weeks already, so i feel so normal right now. What i mean by normal is that I don't think I still have feelings for him now... At least I hope I don't.

This too,. It used to be so fun and exciting to fell in love with someone. I used to get so excited over every small thing that happens between me and that person i'm in love with. Now, however, I no longer felt those excitement. I feel empty. Rejection, friend-zone, doesn't have anything to do with this. I used to be friend-zone, etc, too but I still feel mostly happy to fell for someone... just by seeing that person I felt like I'm the happiest person in the whole world... but now, I don't feel that...

I feel like, I'm starting to change,.. from the inside... I am still as childish as before, honestly, the way i speak and all are also still the same.. but I felt like some part of me, has died.

Copyright to its artist (I just took this from google)

I met my Secondary+Highs School friends just around a week ago during my vacation to Singapore. Yes, they all said I'm still the same,  the way I dressed up, the way I look, the way I talk. But somehow, they also said, that I am so quiet now. I told them I was thinking about my exam results.. but I know deep down it's not the only reason. I realised, nowadays, sometimes, there are just times i wanna stay quiet. I mean, I used to talk non-stop to my friends, doesn't matter whether it's in a cinema, class, or anything. But now, I spent most of my time, especially in University, staying quiet and feeling down most of the time...

I wonder,... If I will be able to find the same excitement as before...

I wonder... If I can feel the same feeling as I used to...

Missing All of Them...

It's been almost a year since i moved to Beijing,, for schooling..
I did went to visit Malaysia again in the summer holiday, but only for a few days.. I'm not yet satisfied and my mum had bought me the ticket back to Indonesia :(

It's hard to have 2 country that's almost like my own hometown, XD hahahah, Well Indonesia IS my hometown. But Malaysia too just like my hometown.. x) The funny thing is that I actually know more about Malaysia than Indonesia aahaha~

Anyways, after I lost my phone, I tried to remember what I have in my phone, that's important (if I do have..) Well, I guess the only thing i regret to lose are my photos with my friends in Malaysia.. :( I really miss them all, Especially Tommy, Coconut (Molly), Apple (Devi), Melon (Cebrina), Guava (Nia) , omg, now i'm having a trouble to remember all those fruit names that i used on them before, I actually had to refer back to my old posts from back in 2011 (+_+)



I was skype-ing with Tommy and Apple last night,, It was so fun~ I haven't laughed that much since I came to Beijing,.. I did but rare u know,, hahha~.. I can laugh and act freely to them, but not to the people around here,.. Here, i have to try to not be so Childish, I can't really showthem how much I love anime too (cuz they'll look at you like you're a freak or something not all but most..)  I don't know.. I feel like I became a different person here,.. I really wanna meet them all,..

I get to meet Guava in the summer holiday and also Melon and Tommy, But not Coconut or Apple, since they are not continuing their university in Malaysia, Coconut is now studying in Singapore and Apple in New Zealand. I'd probably go to Singapore this coming January, but New Zealand is too far.. :c and Apple does not really intend on coming back to Indonesia,.. Well I bet Apple would read this post since she always stalk me ;) If you do happen to read this post; "COME BACK HERE U APPLE HAIR! XD WE MISS U SI KEMBANG DESA <3"

I'm not so sure why I'm writing this post, ahahha~ I'm so sorry for the long and boring post :)

Lost My Phone~ :(

Hey guys,.. After not updating for months.. I came back to mourn over my lost phone x,D

So this is what happen,,

It was on Saturday, I went to eat lunch with my friend in a Japanese Restaurant behind of my dorm~,

It's really near, it's within 5 minutes walking distance.

I was chatting with a friend of mine from back in Malaysia when my friend suddenly said "Novie, faster eat! I feel like Po*ping." So I was like "ohh, ok ok~" and put my phone on the table next to my bowl which I've always done and nothing happened. After a while, my friend said again in a more panic tone, "Novie, I can't stand it anymore,, I need to go to the toilet!" so I'm like "Oh okay okay, i'm done i;m done, let's go," "what about your soup?" "forget the soup, you need to go to the toilet" so we left.. and I think i forgot about my phone already by then.. :'( 

I tried to go back to the restaurant and asked the waitress there, but they said they didn't see any phone. But I.. I don't know. They either lied to me and keep it themselves, or somebody else who sat nearby saw my phone and took it before the waitress came to clean up the table..

Anyways, so i guess there's nothing I could do now, they turned off my phone after all until now, I couldn't track them or anything.. and Beijing is a large city..

I am currently thinking of what phone to buy.. Which phone do you guys think is better?

iPhone6, Samsung Note 4 or Sony Xperia Z3 ?

The phone I lost was iPhone 5, so i kind of feel i wanted something different.. Samsung note, I could use it to draw anytime and anywhere i wanted but.. I have samsung note 10.1 inch already, So i thought it would just be the same isn't it? like really similar just different sizes.. :O But when i asked my parents about sony xperia they're saying how the brand is not that well known anymore, I don't know. Any Suggestion? :o I'm not that good with this technology things~..

New Life in Beijing~

Heellooowh guyyz~! :) it's been really long since i last update this blog huh?

feels like continuing my blog now,, hehe,




so~ i'm not schooling in Malaysia anymore, i've graduated since last year by the end of the yeaar~ >u<)9 yeah!


I am studying in a university in Beijing now~ :) though i don't really like it here. I really don't. I mean, Beijing is a fine city, it has lots of historical places too~..

but it's just too crowded for me, I prefer smaller cities like Balikpapan, Kuching, Melaka, instead of those capital cities like Jakarta, Beijing, Kuala Lumpur to live in.

Besides, I.. to be honest don't really like the students here mostly.. i mean the people from my home country to be exact. :/ I don't think they like me at all, so we don't really talk to each other, more like, I am afraid of them. One of them just wouldn't even look at me! D: what did i do?!

it's like at first they're so fine with me, they even invite me to go somewhere outside Beijing for a vacation and suddenly on that last day we spent out there, they just.. treated me this way!
 

I ask one of them if they're angry at me for something, and she said "Just try to act more mature, don't be too childish" wat do they expect from me?! I am 16 years old while they're 19-20+ !! they can't expect me to be like them ?!

I am pretty much annoyed by them, but i really wished i could just get back to when we're having fun during the vacation. I tried to think lots of time, where did i go wrong during the vacation, i keep flashing back, but i really did nothing. all i do is followed them around i never say anything bad to them, I don't talk much with them, cuz i am always shy around them and they know that since the beginning of the semester.

Well anyways, time for me to sleep or else i wouldn't be able to wake up for morning class tomorrow, haaha~ goodnite guys~

Delete ?

I was actually planning on deleting this blog account,, 

however,, 

i feel kind of like a waste to delete it,..

so i changed my mind,.. hahhah,

it's kind of hard for me to blog here anymore,, XD

       when i wanna talk abt this person : "eh, later he/she read it"
       when i wanna talk abt that person : "later he/she read it"

so now i don't know what to blog anymore,, :P ehheheh~..

Updating~.. :D

Eating dinner with friends,, :3 

Don't know wat to say~.. Just saying that(?) xD hahahaha~.. Gonna watch movie tonight, Elysium~.. :D